Had a Nice Trip: Inspiration from the Pillowman Goes a Bit Too Far

With guest stars Laura Henry (featured typist), Rachel Hutt, and Joe Pindelski

I fell on my face. (For real, she did. By the way, Sara's icing her face with frozen vegetables, so her fellow dramaturgs are honorary guest stars for this entry.) I am a St. Patrick's Day casualty, EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T DRUNK. Tonight, we we went out for a beer after the blood-filled Pillowman at MXAT, and on the way home I tripped and fell slow-mo.

This is how it went:
Joe: "Oh good, she caught herself! Oh wait, there goes her face..."
Sara: "That's what it was for me too! I thought I caught myself...and then I didn't."
Laura: "I didn't see it, but Jenny said, 'Oh...Sara fell.' I was ready to laugh at you...and then I couldn't."
Rachel: "Um....I just felt bad?"

Thank goodness we can laugh about this. I have cuts and scrapes on the bridge of my nose and a fat lip that I am icing. I was pretty bloody when I got home, and the babushka downstairs called an ambulance. (I hope someone took care of that. She really doesn't need it. Our house mother says, "That woman is crazy.") Mariana, our house mother, took good care of me. She says she's a nurse. But she also says I won't look pretty for another 2 or 3 days. (Seriously, its fine. She'll look gorgeous for the opera tomorrow. Yes, Sara, you will.) I'm just glad I didn't lose a tooth.

(Ok, so this is a real-time blog entry. In a new and exciting development, the babushka downstairs called the ambulance and we can't cancel it. Sara is going to get a doctors visit.)

Unhappy from tromping up a hundred stairs (not an exaggeration-we counted), two surly and sturdy Russian ambulance female doctors invaded my room, while I was in the bathroom avoiding them. Thankfully, I had a team of translators. Jenny and Adam - in case you forgot, they are both American and fluent in Russian and live on our floor - as well as Mariana, were all there to help. In my very small room.

After trying to tell them many times that I was fine, they ended up wiping off the Neosporin that Mariana so dutifully applied in order to examine me. (We also had some onlookers. Random Russian students none of us knew. On our way up, they asked Sara, "Shto delayet?! (What did you do!?)" Clearly we couldn't answer them. We're in the process of making up an awesome story.)

They examined me quite brusquely, poking and prodding, asking each time if it hurt. I kept saying "nyet". They also asked to see my documents. Finally got to show that super-cool letter in Russian that says "Please don't arrest me. Please?" After saying that I would be beautiful soon but hurt tomorrow, they made me sign a document saying I didn't want medical treatment. I'm scared that I'm now in the Russian system. (I'M scared she just signed up for the KGB.) Ok, over and out. (Ice will be her Pillowman tonight.) (Actually Sara made up that last line.)